Did you ever?

Did you ever become your worst nightmare? You told yourself that you where never going to allow yourself to turn out a certain way because you where going to be better then that? Unfortunately for some they might wake up one morning and realize that despite all the careful planning and thinking, they somehow allowed themselves to become that person they swore they never would be. I had a wake up like that this morning. I always swore that I was going to be a nice person, someone who is understanding, patient, etc. Well, we are known by our fruit (the outcomes of our decisions), and by looking at the outcomes in my life lately I realized along the way I screwed up somewhere bad. Its not the end of the world, but with the damage I have done it might as well be. I have never relied more heavily on God then I am starting to this morning, because it is going to take all the strength and wisdom He can give me to turn this around.